Alfred F Jones and the Cursed Sword
by scarletskies123
Summary: My name is Alfred F. Jones. I was 13 when I found out I wasn't completely human. If only I didn't learn that from my psycho science teacher. Warnings: Violence, cursing, terrible puns will be used. More specific warnings for chapters will be put before the chapters. Oh, and probably character death. Haven't decided yet.
1. The Teacher From Hell (Literally)

**Summary: My name is Alfred F. Jones. I was 13 when I found out I wasn't completely human. If only I didn't learn that from my psycho science teacher.**

 **Warnings: Violence, cursing, terrible puns will be used. More specific warnings for chapters will be put before the chapters. Oh, and probably character death. Haven't decided yet.**

 **Rated: T for now. I mean, it's not going to get much worse than the PJ series, and that's directed at people like 12 and older, so.. Idk. Rating things it hard.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia or the Percy Jackson series (or any related series by the same author), they are owned by Himaruya and Rick Riordan respectively. I also do not own anything that may appear that is official or anything. Like if I mention a movie, I don't own it. Literally I only own my fics and I make no profit off of them whatsoever except the joy of when people like it. Emotional profit.**

 **Alfred's POV.**

Chapter 1: The Teacher From Hell (Literally)

Finding out that I was a halfblood was probably the most shocking thing in my life.

I mean, yeah, there have been some other shocking things, but that one was the biggest shock. Or at least I would think that learning that you're not even completely human would be a really big shock, but hey, if you've got a one up on me then please tell, I'd love to hear it.

Anyways, a quick warning before we get started. If you see yourself in my shoes, if this sounds like your life, then please stop reading. I mean really, how do you have time to read anyways? If you're in the same situation that I'm in in like half of this then you're probably running or something and there's literally no time to pick up a book or a phone or anything. Actually, demigods aren't even supposed to have phones, so… really I guess if you're reading this on an electronic device then either your mortal parent doesn't know you're a demigod or you're actually a mortal and you know what, I think that Percy knows how to do a warning better than I can so I'm just going to stop and tell you to read his, there you go.

I had heard of hellish teachers, but this one really takes the cake. Ms. Farr's like a good 3 inches shorter than me and horrible in the personality department. I mean, yeah, she looks like she'd make someone cupcakes with sprinkles, but she also looks like she could watch a puppy be murdered and not bat an eye. Or that's what her eyes scream anyways. I try to avoid eye contact at all costs.

I somehow managed to make it most of the way through the year so far. No clue how that happened, but you know, I'm not going to question it. I mean really, I haven't had the best of luck with schools in the past. I've got horrid ADHD and my mom doesn't want to let the doctors treat me for whatever reason. I think she thinks I'm one of those indigo children or something? Though I'm not sure if she believes in that psychic stuff.

Yeah though, ADHD caused a lot of problems. Most of the time I only got in trouble for wandering out of class or tossing paper balls off the ceiling to see if I could get one to land in the trashcan. (Or the teacher's bun in one case.) But on a few occasions it would end up being something big. Like that one time I unscrewed something and I ended up causing the school's floor to be covered in like an inch of water. That wasn't a good day. I mean, how was I supposed to know that it was some part of a water pipe I was unscrewing? I was like 8.

Another time was when I somehow got on the school roof? I mean, I'm still confused about how I got up there, and my mom didn't seem too surprised, but the school wasn't so kind about it.

Though that might be because I also accidentally broke a skylight.

My mom actually got mad about that one.

But yeah, this year had been going pretty great and stuff. But then we got informed of a school field trip. I mean, it probably wasn't going to go that bad, but I doubt it'll go great. Field trips and I don't really mix. You'd think that they'd learn not to take me anywhere dangerous at this point, let's take the locker room destroyer to the zoo, nothing will go wrong. Of course he won't manage to get into the tiger enclosure. Noooo.

This particular field trip was probably going to go okay though. Why, might you ask? Because Mattie's there of course! He's my best friend, practically my brother. He's a bit taller than me, not that I'd admit to that out loud. Blond hair and violet eyes. People mistake us for brothers a lot and sometimes we just go with it, like, why not. He's really good at playing this thing he calls a flute, but really it looks more like a recorder or something.

Matthew's also got some problems with his legs. Something about his muscles didn't develop right in them or something, so they're a bit oddly shaped and don't function correctly. He always wears pants and stuff, even when he complains that it's too hot out. I guess that's part of his legs not looking normal though, covering them up.

He's also a vegetarian, which is something I don't really see how anyone can be, I mean, hamburgers man. Tofu just isn't the same.

The bus ride to the zoo was uneventful, aside from this ass throwing things at Mattie. It was mainly paper balls and stuff, but still. Mattie never wants me doing anything about it even though he knows I can most likely beat these guys with strength alone, even if I don't really look that muscular.

They didn't call me the locker room destroyer for nothing, but that's another story.

Anyways, when we got there it was a pretty nice day. The sun was shining, birds were chirping, all that jazz. Okay, not really. It was silent in the worst of ways. The sky was clouded, overcast, and the temperature seemed to have dropped a good ten degrees since we got on the bus. Mattie seemed to be really nervous about something and that was kinda making me nervous.

We all got checked in and all that, you know, all that stuff that goes along with being a large school group.

I hung around the back with Mattie as we usually did with school functions. The creepy science teacher was annoyingly close to us. I mean really, she could have stuck closer to the front, I swear I could have smelled her perfume from where we were. Well almost, the wind wasn't gong that direction, but whatever.

Looking at the animals was fairly interesting. Mattie kept whispering things about how the animals shouldn't be caged up and stuff. Though I think he understood for some of the endangered species, since in the wild they probably wouldn't survive, but still.

We didn't really see much before we were pulled to this thing about birds of prey, like falcons and owls. A show of sorts that the zoo does to show off their flight patterns and how intelligent they are.

Sadly, this is also where my field trip turned sour.

The moment the birds were released they made straight for me, a few of my classmates screamed as they ducked for cover. The birds landed on my shoulders which kinda hurt, talons aren't nice when your not sufficiently padded.

A few of the teachers tried to calm down the students as the people in charge of the birds tried to coax them off my shoulders. My science teacher just grinned slightly, like I had just made her day.

The falcon was the last to let go of me and once it did, my science teacher pulled me to the door out of the room to leave under the pretense of "making sure the student is okay."

Yeah right.

It took me a moment to realize that it wasn't the exit that we went through, but that we were in some hallway. Almost as soon as the door was shut she turned and looked at me. I can honestly say that her expression will probably haunt me forever.

She glared at me as if I were the spawn of Satan or something. But at the same time she looked kind of hungry and that was really off putting because yeah, I thought that Ms. Farr was a creepy science teacher, but I didn't think she was a cannibal.

"Your friend isn't here to save you this time. Prepare for your end, Alfred Foster Jones." Ms. Farr hissed at me. I blinked, surprised for a moment because either I was crazy, or her canines had gotten longer.

"What are you talking about? Who's been saving me?" I asked her. Honestly, it was confusing. I really only hung out with Mattie and I doubt he'd be able to save me really.

She hissed at me again, "Your satyr friend. The one you call Mattie. Now stay still. I'd hate to get myself covered in blood."

I stared at her for a second, "You're crazy." I backed up towards the door that we came in, which might not have been the best idea in hindsight, but it seemed like a good option at the moment.

"You are naïve, Son of the sky. Innocent to the horrors of your world. Perhaps I should kill you slowly to show what you could have missed." She said as she grabbed my hair and shoved my head to the sky. I felt my neck pop from the force and my brain went straight to vampires. How else would she be so strong and come on, the teeth practically spoke for themselves.

Just as she was about to sink her fangs into me, I heard a strangled gasp and suddenly nothing was holding my head anymore. I blinked a few times and looked around.

Standing just a bit down the hall was Mattie, and he was holding a bow.

 **Okay, so, I know I should be updating my other fics, but this has been stewing for the past month and a half and I'm having trouble finding inspiration and motivation for some of my other fics and I feel terrible about that.**

 **There will probably be some similarities between some of Al's experiences and some of Percy's experiences, but I'll try my hardest to keep them different.**

 **It's probably not that hard to guess who Al's godly parent is.**


	2. What Even Are Legs Anymore?

**Disclaimer and warnings are in the first chapter,**

 **No warnings for this chapter.**

Chapter 2: What Even Are Legs Anymore

I stared at Mattie for a moment, "What..?"

He looked at me for a moment before glancing at the door, "There are some things that I think need to be explained to you… But first, we need to get out of here.. Now that one's found you, others are bound to come." He not-so-helpfully-explained to me as he started dragging me down the hall.

"But what was that? There are more? Where are we going?" I asked as we sort of walked. Then I noticed something else kinda weird. "Hey, where are your crutches? I thought you couldn't walk that well…"

He was quiet for a moment, "I'll explain once we're somewhere safer. For now, just know that I'm here to keep you safe."

"But Mattie, you don't even protect yourself, how are you going to keep me safe?"

"There are things that you don't understand, and I really wish you didn't need to yet. But… I don't think that it'll be possible to keep you clear of it… I promise I'll explain when we get somewhere safe, okay? It's not something we should discuss openly."

I stared at him for a moment before nodding, "Okay… but once we're somewhere that you can tell me whatever's going on then you better tell me. You know how much I hate being in the dark."

He glanced back at me for a moment before looking forward again. "I know.."

The rest of our run was spent in near silence.

I didn't know what place I was expecting when he said somewhere safe, but an abandoned art gallery was not it.

"Where are we?" I asked him.

He hit the light switch and I blinked when the lights turned on suddenly. After a moment of looking around, I noticed that it looked a bit more lived in than I had thought.

"It's my home away from home, so to speak. I have some things here that we should probably pick up before we head out again." He looked at me, "Besides, I think I have some explaining to do and this is the best place to do it that's in the city.."

I sat on the old looking sofa, I sank straight into it since it lost whatever integrity it had a long while ago. "So this is your place? No wonder you always insisted on hanging at my house." I nodded slightly when he mentioned explaining things. "That would be a good idea, yeah."

He sighed and closed his eyes as if he were thinking, "Usually Chiron is there to help with explanations, but I know that if you had to wait for us to reach New York, you'd probably have a fit." He paused for a moment, "You know the Greek gods and goddesses? They're real. The myths are real. Some of them are exaggerated, but they happened. The gods sometimes come down and get together with a mortal. The children from these relationships are called demigods or Half-bloods."

I nodded, we learned about all of this in History class last semester when she had decided that we should learn a bit about the Greek gods. Then the part about them being real caught up with me, "Wait what? Mattie, they're not real. There's only one God and his son Jesus Christ amen."

Mattie shook his head at me, "They exist, yes, but they're a different parthenon then the Greeks and therefor we don't interact much…" He took a breath, "The point is, the Greek gods are real and so are demigods and you are a demigod, Alfred."

I blinked a few times before laughing, "Man, I thought you were serious for a second."

"I am serious, Al. You're a demigod. Until your parent claims you, we can't be for certain who it is, but based off of what the empousa said earlier, I can take a guess as to who it is and it's not good, Alfred. You'll be hunted til your last breath and beyond."

I stared at him for a moment and let that sink in, "So she was an empousa?"

Mattie nodded, "Yeah, she was. Though she was a strange one… she kept the mist really strong around her for some reason.. Usually they have fire as hair and they have two different legs.. It's strange… And if she wasn't then she was definitely a monster of some kind, she smelled like one, and she disintegrated like one."

"So… back to me being a demigod? What? I can't be a demigod. Mom would have mentioned it by now." I told him.

He shook his head, "She might not even know that you're actually a demigod, and if she does then she would have known not to tell you since knowing is one of the more dangerous things."

I thought back to some of the things my mom had said in the past and how they might fit with the current situation. "I guess…."

"If it helps you believe in any way, I'm a satyr." He stated.

I blinked at him, "Wait, you mean one of the dudes with goat legs and horns?"

He nodded at me, "Yep." He kicked off one of his shoes and I found myself staring at a hoof. "I'm a satyr, and my job is to get you to Camp Half-Blood."

 **I am very sorry for not posting anything sooner. I've had this chapter done for a while now.  
I've been dealing with a lot of mental health problems lately and I just recently lost my job, so I've been very stressed. My mental health has gone down the drain these past few months and I've had little to no inspiration for my stories.**

 **Hopefully I'll get to actually working on the others as well, however, it depends on if I get inspiration.**

 **Thank you for being so patient with me. The fact that I've gotten nothing but encouragement when people do reviews on my stories has helped me so much, and I'm honestly so happy with my small group of readers. You are all such lovely, lovely people and I'm so glad that you enjoy my stories.  
Even the silent majority, I am so happy you read these stories.**


	3. Mom

**Warning and disclaimer are in chapter 1.**

Chapter 3: Mom.

I stared at the hoof for a moment before looking back up at Mattie's face. "You weren't kidding… about any of it? So, my dad is a god? Who is he? What about THE God? Does He even exist? Have I been taught lies my entire childhood? What is Camp Half-Blood?"

He sighed slightly before answering, "I wasn't kidding, you're a demigod. Satyrs have really strong noses, so we can smell the differences between demigods, mortals, and monsters. You're a demigod, and a strong one at that. As for who your father is, I only have a theory. No one will actually know until he claims you."

He paused as if thinking before continuing, "God as in the singular does exist, I think. He'd just be a different parthenon? Like the Romans exist, as do the Egyptians and the Norse, so the Christian God existing is definitely not far fetched by any sense of the word.

"As for Camp Half-Blood, it's the place where the Greek demigods go to be trained. It's one of very few places in the world where a demigod can be safe from monster attacks. No monsters can get in unless they're given permission, it's the same with mortals.. It's where I'm going to take you, and you'll be able to train so that what happened earlier doesn't become a big problem for you."

I took all this new information in as best I could. I mean, this was kind of life changing and man, if I thought I was going to be a normal kid, playing football in high school and being part of the science club, I was sadly mistaken. "Are we going to tell my mom that I'm going to this camp? Where is it anyways?"

"It's in New York, specifically Long Island. It'll be easier to take a plane there, and if I'm right about your parentage then it should be safe." Mattie responded. "As for telling your mom, that would be a good idea. She loves you and having you randomly go missing would probably give her a heart attack."

I nodded slightly and stared into the void while I thought about what all I had been told. "Okay… let's go then." I said after a moment of debating about the pros and cons of the situation. Pros, I would go somewhere that's probably really awesome, not have to go to school, and I wouldn't have wacko science teachers trying to eat my face off. Cons, I wouldn't get to be a normal kid that plays football and joins the science club, and I probably wouldn't be able to see my mom as much.

He nodded at me and got up, "We should probably head over to your place then. The quicker this all goes, the better. Now that you know what you are, monsters are more likely to find you. I'm not even sure how they've taken this long to take an interest in you."

I shrugged in response, I mean, I just learned about this stuff, how the heck was I supposed to know.

Luckily, the trip to my house was really short.

I opened the door and called out as I walked in, "Hey mom, something happened during the trip."

Mattie followed me in and closed the door as my mom walked into the room. She took one look at us and sighed, "It's time, isn't it."

Mattie looked at her for a moment before nodding, "So you knew he was a demigod?" I guess he found this to be a bit interesting, 'cause I guess not many people actually know they've laid with a god or whatever.

Mom nodded at him, "I knew.. It's why we moved here. It wasn't safe back in San Francisco." She sighed again, "I can drive you. It'll take a few days, maybe one if you're able to drive, but, I'm sure we can make it."

I blinked, "Wait, but Mattie's like 14, he wouldn't be able to drive, he shouldn't have learned yet. Unless satyrs get special treatment."

Mattie sighed, what was up with everyone and sighing anyways? "Satyrs age half the rate of the average man. I'm actually closer to 28. I know how to drive… I can take the night shift."

I gaped at him, "28? But you're my best friend, how are you almost 30?"

Mattie blinked before laughing slightly, "I'm a satyr. I'm my species equivalent to 14. I'm actually young by our standards. Just I've been around for 28 years. So basically, I'm humanities confusion with drivers' license and being able to drink. Well if I ever bothered to actually get one with the proper birth year. Just people would think it's fake if I put 1981."

I shook my head slightly, "Man, I'm never going to survive camp, I'm already confused."

Mattie rolled his eyes before patting my back once, "You'll get it. It's all really new information, so, I wouldn't expect it to automatically click." He turned to my mom. "Ms. Jones, I think it's time to go."

She nodded her head once as she reached for the keys on the coffee table, "I think it is too… And please, call me Amy."

Mattie nodded at her before standing up. "I guess if I'm only around you two for a while, then no one will care if I go shoeless? These things can get uncomfortable."

Mom laughed lightly before nodding, "Of course. Heck, if you want to take your pants off you can."

Mattie blinked before heading over to the bathroom, most likely to actually go do that.

I looked up at my mom, "So you knew this whole time?"

She nodded at me once before sighing. "I've always known. Though it took me a lot of research to find out what that meant for you. I tried to keep you as safe as I could, I looked for places with the least amount of monster activity. When you were at school I'd take classes in defence so I could fight if I needed to… You're my baby, I'd do anything to keep you safe.. But you're growing up too.. And it's time you went to the camp.. You need to learn about what your world has to offer, what it means to be a demigod and how to defend yourself and live. Live and learn and have fun. Pull pranks, go swimming, try to listen to the leaders, and please stay safe. And trust me, you're getting a similar speech when we actually get there."

I stared at her for a moment, trying not to cry. After a moment I got myself together, "I'll miss you while I'm there, mom.."

She smiled and kissed the top of my head, "I love you too, Alfred.." She clapped my shoulder lightly, "Now let's get your friend and get going." she looked over at the corner where the hall is. "Hey! Come on or we're leaving without you!"

Mattie came scurrying from around the corner. "Don't do that!"

I may have stared at his legs for a moment. I mean. They were covered in fur. How could I not look? I blinked out of it and got off the couch. "So.. road trip?"

Mom looked at me and nodded, "Road trip."

 **Hi! This is quite possibly the fastest I've updated a fic in a while, and I'm honestly quite proud of myself.**

 **Thank you all so much for being patient with me, it means a lot to me.**


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